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  #1  
Old 08-30-2009, 03:22 PM
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CHEESE2009 CHEESE2009 is offline
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Talking You guys will love this!

As member of the month, I believe it is my duty to tell all of you a good story!

This story is about my "uncle" & my "aunt"

For the past few years most of the family has noticed some changes about my uncles appearance. When we have family get togethers every few weeks, the following have been noticeable changes & discoveries;

1. He shaved his head bald, alright normal... Doesn't look bad. He also started to sport some earrings, looked like Mr. Clean.

2. He shaved his arms. I guess it was just proper maintenance, he hasn't had a girl in his life for a long time!

3. His nails were never cut. Hmmm, it happens? I guess they grow fast?

4. For Halloween he dressed like a woman, he dressed like a woman VERY well.

5. His cell phone contacts included one which said, "Sex Identification" or something between those lines.

6. He created a Facebook account under a female name, with a picture of him in his Halloween costume.

7. His daughter found a dress in his closet (when she visited him), he said it was a gift for her. Lol.

8. His voice mail message (answer machine) was clearly a female talking.

9. Can't say, too mean.

10. Putting the first few pieces together, it was obvious. Bald to better fit a wig, long nails, shaved body hair, etc.

So the family has basically forced him to come out. We all sent him emails regarding his situation & let him know if we can accept the way he is, or banish him from our family.

He has 5 sisters, he's the only male of all of his siblings.

He's emailed everyone who emailed him, explaining how it is not his fault. Apparently when we are born, we are all female until certain chemicals come together, testosterone. Apparently he didn't get enough testosterone. Hmmm.

So I have been good friends with my uncle in the past. He is also into starting up several small businesses. He's taken a "genius test" & had past it. He can be a prick, but a genius one at that.

I decided to send an email saying that his changes have not affected me, he is family & if anyone has a problem with the way you are, they better look in the mirror. Then I went along writing pages of stuff basically taking my mind off the fact he was now my aunt. Showing that I am able to get over it & still have a good time.

Other family members have chosen a different path, totally ignoring him & being embarrassed. Understandable.

So my Uncle/Aunt has written me back vice-verse, we decided to hang out.
He told me all about his new place. Big arse apartment, big flat screen, tons of Nintendo Wii games. Etc.

So I was interested, already we have things in common, business, wii games, beer.

So yesterday he/she said he/she would pick me up, cool. He/she did that & the evening went well. His/her friend Joe was there & basically looked like this was old news & it didn't bug Joe at all.

I have to say that after 5 minutes of seeing my uncle dressed like a woman, it didn't bother me. I actually forgot that it was weird & things were not awkward. We played Wii, watched DVD's, had dinner, played more Wii, walked the dogs, then I went home.

So he's not 100% female, he still needs a sex change which is scary to imagine. Though he/she said that they aren't interested in guys, & would just be single forever. Alright, you did 100 years without a woman, you could go a little longer!

I looked up sex change procedures & almost past out. Imagine losing your tool? That's awful!!! Don't look it up!!!!!

Anyway, my uncle/aunts place is actually HUGE. Every closet has female clothes, one room is packed with girl shoes, about 100 pairs not even kidding!

A room is full of wigs, etc.



Most of my family thought I would be the one most disturbed about this, being that I follow a very male lifestyle. I sport a beard regardless of the occasion, I looked like Jesus hungover at my cousins wedding while everyone looked clean & shaved. I drink & fart any chance I get, laundry is something to do, just not for me. If I'm out in the rain in a pair of clothes, they are now clean. So I'm apparently a stereotype for men, & the family thought I would be cruel to my uncle. I'm careless & have a cold heart when it comes to woman & they're feelings, basically be quiet or I'm leaving, "Your problems don't matter to me, deal with them on your own time". I'm a prick 50% of the time. But I'm usually easy going with any type or form of person. I was paired with a *** person while working at a store, had no choice but to bond & get work done. I realized *** people are positive & uplifting, great sense of humor. So whatever, I've made some homo friends & it hadn't bothered me.

UNTIL (part two of the story)

My best friend from birth, my drinking buddy & side kick confronted me one night, "I am bisexual" he said. I called it a night & went home laughing. The next day I called to hang out just to pick his brain. Nothing special, he's just attracted to everything I guess! He said, "don't you ever find guys attractive?" LMAO, I then said, "well a lot of trannies look better than most woman, I guess you caught me there!"

so were on good terms again, I'm ignoring the facts. Though one night over an online chat he came on to me & I said, "I don't blame you, I'm beautiful" and I went to sleep, lmao.

Holy cow man... The people in my life are getting weird!!!!!!!!


HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE STORY!

- Scottisha, Scottawna, Scottabitha.. LMAO
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  #2  
Old 08-30-2009, 07:29 PM
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hahahahahahahah
Reminds me of the line of that new country song.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy."
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Old 08-30-2009, 08:32 PM
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Quote:
4. For Halloween he dressed like a woman, he dressed like a woman VERY well.
7. His daughter found a dress in his closet
What guy doesn't dress like a woman at least once a week LOL, Hell I just might do the next GopherHaul Show with a long flowing blond Wig

Maybe like this one

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Old 08-30-2009, 11:14 PM
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LOL!!! Breeze you kill me with your stories! You really should pursue writing as a main hobby. You could be the next author of "Mowing For Dummies"
I am envious of your ability to compose these comical posts!

Steve - I would pay you cash money if you did your next Gopherhaul show dressed as a woman. But you have to have the woman lisp, and your episode has to be about the bikini lawn care services and you have to be in the video mowing in the bikini.
You don't have a hair on your butt if you don't do it!!
LMFAO!!!!!
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Old 09-01-2009, 11:24 PM
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LMAO .... That is quite the story Breeze! I have known many *** people in my life as well, and I agree with you in many ways ... In my experience they are usually the life of the party and have amazing senses of humour! I have to applaud you for your position with your Uncle/Aunt.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdexpd View Post
Steve - I would pay you cash money if you did your next Gopherhaul show dressed as a woman. But you have to have the woman lisp, and your episode has to be about the bikini lawn care services and you have to be in the video mowing in the bikini.
You don't have a hair on your butt if you don't do it!!
LMFAO!!!!!
And as far as Steve doing a show in a bikini .... (painful as it might be on the eyes) ... it might be worth seeing!!!! LOL
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Old 09-03-2009, 12:24 AM
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hahahaha
funniest thread ever!
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