How much did this video cost?! A new zero turn?!

[CHEESE2009]

LOL. It's a good night tonight. A good night indeed.

Lawn care business tips

Originally Posted by SprinklerRepair I don't like the word Retard and will not use it here. My non-use of this word is not targeted at any or many individuals. Just thought I'd mention the word. Get back with me when you can speak to me on my SEO level, which after reading my book, you will be able to. Until then, shut up and learn. I love how you think that calling your target audience "retards", below your "level", and telling them to "shut up" is going to make them see the "sprinklerspam" light. If I ever thought about using you, let me tell you that yu have just turned me off. Perhaps a proper next step would be to apologize to the many people here that you have offended (most beyond repair. sorry for the pun but maybe you need to repair your interpersonal skills before you repair sprinklers.).

[SprinklerRepair]

"Da da da DA da - I'm lovin' it"

Got a Mikey Dee bag somewhere in your truck?

Man how do you look yourself in the mirror? They just TRICKED you into buying their product!

How DARE they try to be creative?

If I got carried away by implying that Breezy and Little are inbred short bus window lickers that wouldn't know marketing if it kicked them in the nads with a five pound boot, then I do apologize.

And if I somehow offended any other Luddites that believe their Grandma is not trusting that "damn AOL devil" and that they are living in 1998 instead of 2009, I apologize to them as well.

*** kissing aside, if you don't believe that 80% of ALL (race/creed/age) consumers are NOT using the internet to qualify potential venders than you ARE -

-Hmmmm, whats the word I'm looking for. I don't want to upset people with facts, uh, let's see. I also don't want to impinge on their erroneous pre-conceived ideas and false assumptions that will aggravate their self loathing and initiate blind rage posting at the perceived offender (me)

-Hmmm- what is a good metaphor that helps them to overcome their limitations, yet allows them some dignity in their anonymous forum postings which feeds their sense of safety.....Hmmmmm.

I GOT IT!!!

"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't teach it algebra"

Got "Life in 2009 Algebra?"

If you don't, your competition will. Sorry 'bout yer luck '90's guys.

[SprinklerRepair]

"And why come on this forum & criticize us for putting signs on our trucks?" signed Breezy.

I gotta address this comment as well.

For those whose reading perception/comprehension brought repercussions on their sixth grade report cards and never resolved the issue, for you guys (Breezy) I'll try it again.

THINK. I know it can be difficult for some, but give it a try. It gets easier with practice.

Here in Orlando I see new 2009 F-150's color wrapped with logos, and they waste space saying "Commercial and Residential".

Now, it is POSSIBLE that some of these companies do NOT want commercial clients due to the higher ROI.

They will fade due to the immutable laws of evolution and bank financing.

I do not cut grass, not even my own. I used to. I spent years cutting grass as a "foreman" (kicked dog) and hate the smell of it. I haven't cut grass in more years than most of you have been alive (if you are under 30).

However, if I was FORCED by Chinese Invaders (bankers) to yank pull cords, or worse, "bamboo toe nailed" into driving off line traffic to landscape maintenance salesmen (arguably Satan's Earthly Crew) , I would take this approach.

THINK. I know it's arduous, just stay with me.

This is not great copy, just off the top. How 'bout:

STOP THIS TRUCK! (in red letters) GET A FREE QUOTE!

or

HATE YOUR LAWN GUY? YOU'LL LOVE ME!

or

DEAD GRASS GUARANTEE!

or

HAPPY or 2x YOUR MONEY BACK!

Really. In 30 seconds anybody can do better than (insert drool) "Commercial and Residential".

If you don't "get it", invest in a drool cup. I mean really, "it's all over your shirt and it is just gross."

"Your Grandma want's to show us all the cool knitting needles she just bought online".

CUT IT OUT and just WISE UP. Is it really that hard to use half of your brain?

Quit acting stupid. It hasn't helped you yet.

First of all, I have my doubts that you are "tricking" anyone here into your services. And on the same note, I doubt that name calling either Breeze or Little's will bring you any sales.

You brought up McDonald's. Lets talk about McDonald's. You don't even compare to McDonald's. Why not? You mentioned the "Da da da DA da - I'm lovin' it" part of the McDonald's commercial. Let me tell you, the only thing you have in common with the McDonald's commercial is sounding "stupid". That is where you and the McDonald's commercial split ways. The McDonald's commercial lifts up its customers and potential customers as on top of their game. But it NEVER calls their nay sayers "stupid", "luddites", "inbred short bus window lickers", "'90's guys", "horse", "ignorant", "sleazy", "lazy", to "shut up", or refers to them as being out of their time by saying "and that they are living in 1998 instead of 2009". Nope, McDonald's does not creep through gutters like you do. And trust me, you called us all of these things.

And I say again, the only thing you and McDonald's have in common are that both of you sound "stupid". But let me add that at least McDonald's does so with a little more dignity. BTW, I have not called you anything, only your actions.

And just because you are receiving the "attention" of us by us posting comments to your stupid threads does not mean that we or anyone else will be using your services, whether your services are good or not. I am not saying that you are wrong about the services you offer, just in the way you offer them. Your services may be the best in the world but if you run off your customers with defamatory language and behavior, what do you have? The best service in the world, with few customers. I have no idea about your customer base size and don't really care. Let me just make it very clear that I don't do business with folks who call me names.

And in your own words

"CUT IT OUT and just WISE UP. Is it really that hard to use half of your brain?"

and

"Quit acting stupid. It hasn't helped you yet."

[SprinklerRepair]

Indeed.

I often respond to ignorance with contempt.

It is a character flaw of mine to not accord respect to the ridiculous, and to the purveyors of "dumbness".

As my half hearted, tongue-in-cheek apologies seem to be vetted quickly here for what they are, total Bull ****, let us get to the meat of the issue.

For all the free advice I have laid out in DETAIL in this forum, and in your (not everyone, I'm talking about these 3 responders) non-deserving, unappreciative, non action taking, bonged out, drunk ***, do -it - tomorrow, wait and see, incompetent, inarticulate, way the **** over their heads , small minds, LAPS, I I am repaid by you guys replying to my post.

Mother Teresa would kick you in the nuts if she was still alive.

I'll say it again, and please quote me "Stupid has brought you as far as it can bring you.You may want to try another avenue of success."

Yes, I just called you stupid.

Get your attorney on the phone and sue me, dumbass.

[SprinklerRepair]

Sorry. I got distracted by posers of clarity.

Want more customers? Don't just read it, do it.

Want me to do it for you? I will. AFTER....

You KNOW what you want

I will not work with just "anybody"

I accept three out of five applicants.

Why so few? Well foremost there are only 4 of us,

but more importantly, FIRST you gotta understand that you Don't understand.

You have to jump off the "ship of fools".

So, don't email or call me until you have read the ENTIRE pdf at least twice.

In fact , when I get time (2012?) I am going to install an Applicant Test, meaning, if you can't score 75% on the SEO test, you would fail the PIA.

What is a PIA? You mean you have not read the free book?

Go read it twice and come back here when you have at the very least a SMALL CLUE of what is being discussed here.

Cheers to Breezy and Little. It's okay, no hard feelings. I'm sure that you can find someone to read it to you, or at least look up the "big words".

[Steve W]

Dude, What is wrong with you? Is life treating you that bad? Have you lost all respect for others?
Like Eli said: How many future clients do you really think you have won by acting this way? If you have such a good talant for ranking, then why not go somewhere else and advertise it now. I dont owe you a damn thing for anything you have spoken about on this forum. If I want help on a web site and its ranking I sure as hell wouldnt use you after all the mess you have said in just 2 days.
And let me tell ya now. It dont matter to me if you like what I said to you or if you like me, Just leave, Dont leave mad,, Just leave.
Think about it Bud? What have you done with your life?

Steve W

[Little's]

I have read your posts, one after another calling me names for pointing out the truth, but the only thing I'm going to say is how you're only fooling yourself, everyone on here knows your full of it. I mean, you offer a free download in hopes that people will BUY your Wordpress website (which I love Wordpress because it is FREE) and your SEO you SELL is just the ALL in ONE SEO Plugin (which again I love it because anyone can download it for FREE). Even the Wordpress theme you offer is free.

If I recall, you sell people this FREE stuff for.....what was it....something like $1000+++

I agree with the other person who pointed out that your like the used car salesman but of the net. "I'll sell you this wonderful 1996 Ford Taurus for $12,000"

[CHEESE2009]

Originally Posted by SprinklerRepair

In fact , when I get time (2012?) I am going to install an Applicant Test, meaning, if you can't score 75% on the SEO test, you would fail the PIA.

What is a PIA? You mean you have not read the free book?

Go read it twice and come back here when you have at the very least a SMALL CLUE of what is being discussed here.

So your customers will have to be as wise as you, in order for them to have business with you? That's pretty flawed.

I can't believe your back on this forum.. This is like a horror movie, the bad guys dead than suddenly he gets back up! HOLY MEALS ON WHEELS BATMAN!

Every time you write, it's like you are bitching. You are a coward when it comes to accepting failure on such a small level.

It's like your trying to sell dog crap cookies, listen to us little girl. Take what lesson we've all taught you, which obviously YOU clearly don't seem to grasp.

Your attitude shows weakness, it's flawed & pathetic. Stop whining & move on. You can't win them all, you can't win them all, you can't win them all... What makes you think that you can?!!! You reach a new low by not moving on. I can expect you to say, "I'm trying to sell myself to a dead dog" so why don't you stop? No one is asking for your advice or service here, take a hike.

I'm trying to imagine your life outside of work.

SprinklerSpam: Honey, you need to get into this, don't be a retard & undress yourself for me now. We aren't in the 90's anymore, stop being a luddite!