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  #1  
Old 09-11-2011, 10:46 PM
CHEESE2009 CHEESE2009 is offline
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So this weekend I was invited to a party with one of my girlfriends friends.

I ended up at some mansion far away, a place I don't even know how to get to. No words can explain how terrified and amused I was.

Anyway, because we were all drinking, we all got our own rooms and were allowed to spend the night. The trouble was finding my way around the house, it was insane! I used the bushes outside quite a few times before I found a washroom, but that's our little secret.... I felt as if I was in a horror movie and we'd all slowly be killed off, the house was too damn big!


The party was rather massive and full of people who reminded me of the cast on the show "Jersey Shore", but once everyone had left - It was myself and a few ladies, and the girlfriend... I was too drunk to enjoy that fact. I was sure to lock the doors of the home so that I wouldn't be murdered in my sleep, and that no one would break in and make my due hangover much worse. For some reason I was in a strangers home, being responsible for more strangers, excluding my girlfriend - we had a blast exploring the place!

To make a long story short, I was asked to carry the lady of the house (Birthday Girl) to her bedroom, she was wasted. I thought, "Sure mind as-well" with an obvious pervy grin.

My mistake, after a few flights of stairs I gave up, dropped her arse on the floor and told her I'll continue if she sweats off 5 pounds in the next 10 minutes. I eventually made my attempt to carry her some more, I ended up bringing her to the wrong room 4 times, and I was tempted to bring her back to the friggen stairs. Anyway, after I threw her onto her bed, I eventually found my own room after opening endless doors, I fell asleep and woke up 4 hours later, even more drunk than ever. Just wondering where I was, and how I got there....


To make this story short;

I was attacked by 1 dog
Apparently made the best Sangria
Won a beard competition with some Arab guy
Made a guy from Czech Republic say some really funny sentences...
Made friends with a guy who was actually a girl, who has a girlfriend
Went outside for a smoke with a few people, we all forgot how to get back in the house as everything was either a glass window/wall or door.

When I woke up, for some reason there were more dogs roaming in the house, but it was oddly just me and my girlfriend in the house alone with them... I got freaked out and demanded for us to leave before we get murdered. Once I got to my small little town, If I wasn't hungover, I'd kiss the dirt!




Moral of the story;

Stay away from mansions. It's not as fun as you'd think. The entire time I was trying not to get lost, and avoiding the possibility of trap doors, murderers, and listening to the life stories of many drunk women with clothes on.
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Old 09-12-2011, 01:48 PM
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holy crap cheese ,your cut-off from watching any violent or scary movies ! from now on,you have to watch chick flicks and listen to celine dion cd's .
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Old 09-12-2011, 01:54 PM
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And Scott, that is why you are the most interesting man in the world.



LOL I kept waiting to hear how you landed the property as a new lawn care customer because they were blown away by your creativity and charm
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Old 09-13-2011, 08:20 AM
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Cheese
You ha e to watch less horror movies and more ****.
A mansion with many bed lots of women and you think murder.
Me on the other hand think price is right which door do I want.
Redhead blonde or brunette. Chcka ckica waaa waaa.
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