You know you are a lawn maintenance professional when....

[CHEESE2009]

Originally Posted by Hedgemaster I don't think I'll ever be a professional. I hit several landmines today and I was angry the rest of the day. Nasty. I suppose he meant that maybe it's something we all pretty much expect out of the days... When murphy's law hits, it's nothing new to us anymore. lol

[myblacktruck]

Lawn care business tips

[When most of your costumers have nicknames that they can never find out about (they probably wouldn't be costumers for much longer) This one is too funny, me and my nephew have names for most of them. Sometimes when they come to the door i really gotta think real fast what there real name is lol

[PR-Fect]

Originally Posted by Von Bobbeh

When most of your costumers have nicknames that they can never find out about (they probably wouldn't be costumers for much longer)

This one could be a whole nother thread! LMAO

[PR-Fect]

when the phrase .." hmm I think she doesn't need it this week" gets overused just because you dont want to get out of the truck &" you can't stand THAT F*ng yard.

Now I'm RLMAO

OK, how about when you are right about the weather more times than the 3 weather forcasts that you checked.

[Von Bobbeh]

When you can fill a dozen gas tanks a day and never spill, you'll even fill tanks over grass because you're so confident and then you spill. A lot.

When your mowers and trimmers have names and personalities... and you talk to them.

You want to go homicidal when costumers ask "what time will you show up" (WE'RE GRASS CUTTERS NOT CHAUFFEURS)

You prioritize what mower gets poopy lawns and what one stays clean.

You have a complex formula for correcting crooked lines caused by rocking out while mowing (I <3 my Ipod)

... Yes I will send you the invoice, NO I don't want to come get my check Saturday morning.

You don't give a shyt what race someone is, what they drive, where they live or what they do "what mower do they got?"

Your cell phone ringing either makes you happy or want to die... depending on how long it's been since you cashed a check.

[CHEESE2009]

This is you (in your mind), when a client calls:




How you really are..

[dougcaskey]

Can't be !!! The t-shirt has no stains on it !!!

[AkersLawn]

When you sit on gopherforum all day at the community college because getting a degree for the business you already own just seems silly.

Telling potential customers vague terms such as "we do it all" to find out just what they want from you.

Having the gas station teller know what route youre on, and exactly what kind of smokes you like.

Finding out certain customers schedules to show up when they arent home.

Pulling up to wendys, telling sheri it is al, and you want the "usual"

Having milf fantasies about your customers.

When "thinking outside the box" is thinking about how much better you could build your trimmer holsters.

You can singlehandedly back up to your trailer hitch on the first try.

Your truck just feels fast when you aren't working.

Your friends call you up for various "favors" relating to their landscapes.



This is by far the best thread ive read in a while !!!

[AkersLawn]

Haha I love it, this sh*t makes me feel like I may in fact not be crazy, and you guys have the same miserable existence as myself!! hahahaa

[Lopes Lawn Care]

you try to use your truck keys in your car.
being done with work doesn't mean your done with work.
weekends don't exist.
you have no friends.
your girlfriend doesn't understand why your broke when your always working.


This thread is great! Definitely don't feel crazy now. Love the nicknames one. Me and my guy have a nickname for everyone and definitely have come close to calling some customers by them.

Some popular ones include, "miracle bird" (saw a bird get killed by other birds then watched it come back to life and fly away 30 mins later), "cancer ramp", "ring leader", "cocaine vinny"(pastor that used to have a crazy coke habit back in the day), "bird rape" (customer was attacked by birds and had to get stitches after wearing red on a walk during mating season), "batty kathy" (she was just a customer that was "chatty" but she has started to lose her mind and become a problem so we call her batty kathy now.