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You know you are a lawn maintenance professional when....

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  • #16
    When you can fill a dozen gas tanks a day and never spill, you'll even fill tanks over grass because you're so confident and then you spill. A lot.

    When your mowers and trimmers have names and personalities... and you talk to them.

    You want to go homicidal when costumers ask "what time will you show up" (WE'RE GRASS CUTTERS NOT CHAUFFEURS)

    You prioritize what mower gets poopy lawns and what one stays clean.

    You have a complex formula for correcting crooked lines caused by rocking out while mowing (I <3 my Ipod)

    ... Yes I will send you the invoice, NO I don't want to come get my check Saturday morning.

    You don't give a shyt what race someone is, what they drive, where they live or what they do "what mower do they got?"

    Your cell phone ringing either makes you happy or want to die... depending on how long it's been since you cashed a check.


    • #17
      This is you (in your mind), when a client calls:

      How you really are..


      • #18
        Can't be !!! The t-shirt has no stains on it !!!


        • #19
          This is you (in your mind), when a client calls:

          How you really are..

          LOLLLL! Cheese do u have a file folder that says " random pics for every scenario " ?


          • #20
            When you sit on gopherforum all day at the community college because getting a degree for the business you already own just seems silly.

            Telling potential customers vague terms such as "we do it all" to find out just what they want from you.

            Having the gas station teller know what route youre on, and exactly what kind of smokes you like.

            Finding out certain customers schedules to show up when they arent home.

            Pulling up to wendys, telling sheri it is al, and you want the "usual"

            Having milf fantasies about your customers.

            When "thinking outside the box" is thinking about how much better you could build your trimmer holsters.

            You can singlehandedly back up to your trailer hitch on the first try.

            Your truck just feels fast when you aren't working.

            Your friends call you up for various "favors" relating to their landscapes.

            This is by far the best thread ive read in a while !!!


            • #21
              Lol Akers..the Wendy's , milf fantasies & first try with the hitch were all money!!


              • #22
                Haha I love it, this sh*t makes me feel like I may in fact not be crazy, and you guys have the same miserable existence as myself!! hahahaa


                • #23
                  you try to use your truck keys in your car.
                  being done with work doesn't mean your done with work.
                  weekends don't exist.
                  you have no friends.
                  your girlfriend doesn't understand why your broke when your always working.

                  This thread is great! Definitely don't feel crazy now. Love the nicknames one. Me and my guy have a nickname for everyone and definitely have come close to calling some customers by them.

                  Some popular ones include, "miracle bird" (saw a bird get killed by other birds then watched it come back to life and fly away 30 mins later), "cancer ramp", "ring leader", "cocaine vinny"(pastor that used to have a crazy coke habit back in the day), "bird rape" (customer was attacked by birds and had to get stitches after wearing red on a walk during mating season), "batty kathy" (she was just a customer that was "chatty" but she has started to lose her mind and become a problem so we call her batty kathy now.


                  • #24
                    You wonder why the post office takes 2 weeks to deliver a check from a house 10 minutes away (slack customers, who said they sent the check)

                    Your idea of shopping is going to get a new Stihl weed eater

                    You eat a certain fast food restaurant every day of the week bc it is on your route

                    You store customers numbers just to avoid phone calls

                    You take the whole rig to run to wal mart bc you are too slack to take the trailer off

                    You have the worse looking yard on the block

                    people don't recognize you outside of work bc you're actually clean

                    you avoid neighbors bc they want favors

                    you wear stihl glasses wherever you go

                    everything in your trailer is worth more than your truck

                    never been to the gym and still in great shape


                    • #25
                      You store customers numbers just to avoid phone calls

                      lmao, very true. I hate when they call me from numbers I don't recognize!
                      Last edited by CHEESE2009; 10-10-2012, 04:35 PM.


                      • #26
                        when you feel like u dont want to do it no more but as soon as you start, your u get pump back again to your goals.


                        • #27
                          When you forgot the customers name when you were drunk the previous night and took the call without writing down all the information. Just remembering the house address and street name in your head. Then you call back the next day and get voice mail that says "Hi you have reached __________." and now you have the name of that person for your records.

                          When you have beers on a Monday with the customer and your two other team members.

                          When you drive the customers car to get those beers.

                          When you break your Galaxy SIII because you were jumping to touch up that last spot on the tree and your phone falls out of your back pocket. 4 days after purchase.

                          When you can think of so much more examples of "when you...", but for now have several other Gopher Forums with great valuable content to review over.
                          It takes at least two steps to be 3 steps ahead!


                          • #28
                            The side of the clients house, behind the fence, is your secret toilet.


                            • #29
                              The side of the clients house, behind the fence, is your secret toilet.
                              LMAO!!! or you're taking a squat in the woods hoping no one sees you go in and come back out!!


                              • #30
                                LMAO!!! or you're taking a squat in the woods hoping no one sees you go in and come back out!!
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