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View Full Version : the pursuit of happiness vs family time


quickcleanlawn
08-18-2008, 09:54 PM
what exactly is the pursuit of happiness ? Are you really happy in your pursuit ? what about all of your friends and family?Are they happy in your pursuit?
After all your efforts to give your family everything they need, do you ever feel your not giveing them what they needed most?

UniversityLandscapers
08-19-2008, 12:58 AM
I've always found the most annoying part of the job to be the huge amount of time spent after "work" working on other administrative/equipment maintenance tasks. I also hate the constant phone calls...Sunday afternoons seem to be the time that everyone wants to call about a quote, so I just ignore the phone and let voicemail handle it till Monday.

When it comes down to it (I'm a college student who does this in the summer), I'm on summer "vacation" from my real job as a full-time student, and I'd like to get some enjoyment out of this so-called vacation, so come August, I pull the ads and tell people who phone that we're full up. I've crammed my schedule into 4, 9/10 hour days and given myself three day weekends, setting aside some time for billing and other work. I think it's pretty key to anticipate the time you'll spend outside of the mowing/working so that it doesn't cut into your real free time with family/friends.

And sometimes you have to decide who's more important, the customer or your family...don't be afraid to say no to your customer when they come up with outrageous scheduling requests. It's not your fault that they're in such a hurry to get something done.

justin_time
08-19-2008, 08:37 AM
I don't know how to say this but everybody keeps asking me what are you going to do with your life as they don't think my business is gonna be good enough. I guess they don't see the big picture since it will be my 1st full time season that I don't return to school. So I really have to figure something out to do in the winter so I can afford to pay school and all those bills

Steve
08-19-2008, 09:36 PM
Blaine,

You really hit a home run with those thoughts. Great questions.

Sometimes I feel like thinking can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. When you start thinking about all the things you are striving to achieve you almost inevitably think of what are you giving up to achieve that.

What are your goals? What's most important to you? I guess ideally the best way to go about it is to prioritize these things.

I think we all tend to have dreams about taking over the world within our business niche. But do you ever wonder why? What will that do for you if you are so engrossed in it that it takes time away from being with people you want to be with.

Maybe you can bring everyone together in the business and then it can be a fun thing to have everyone shooting for a common goal.

When you feel you are getting off course, remember this song by Harry Chapin
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

Well, he came home from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please?"

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then

I don't know how to say this but everybody keeps asking me what are you going to do with your life as they don't think my business is gonna be good enough. I guess they don't see the big picture since it will be my 1st full time season that I don't return to school. So I really have to figure something out to do in the winter so I can afford to pay school and all those bills

Justin what is your view of everyone asking you this? How do you suggest others deal with this situation? I am sure many others are having to deal with it all the time.

justin_time
08-19-2008, 09:42 PM
Justin what is your view of everyone asking you this? How do you suggest others deal with this situation? I am sure many others are having to deal with it all the time.


I don't know.

I can see the big picture. I keep buying more equipment. I am getting another trailer. I am getting a zero turn and still they don't think I have a real job.

I am not sure what to think anymore. I did go to school for computer and business. I have 2 diplomas.

I don't know anymore.
I do have a big vision with my business.

Steve
08-19-2008, 09:54 PM
To me, this seems more of them not accepting what you are doing yet. That is ok, they will get over it. At a certain point they will realize you are a lawn care business owner and that is what you do.

I wouldn't let them get to you. I think this is part of the process of growing into this role.

Do you think those that question you are happy with their lot in life? Are they trying to get you to be unhappy too or is that not it?

justin_time
08-19-2008, 10:02 PM
Do you think those that question you are happy with their lot in life? Are they trying to get you to be unhappy too or is that not it?

Maybe because I'm still young.

They always ask me if i'm returning to school (this september). I'm like no freakin' way. I am done and done.... some even think I am still in high school for god sakes.

So I don't know what is going on, I have mixed emotions, since I do not want to let my customers go. I had 40 some customers at one point but now I'm down to 30 since I had to cut some off since they weren't paying on time but I do have my average lawns. I know I may not be making a big profit but I can afford new stuff once in a while so I assume I'm doing alright.

My machine does break down, and they always ask me oh, you must be making lots of money this summer (they make it sound like i make thousands of dollars) and I say no, I do have machine breakdown, I do have bills to pay, insurance.. blah blah blah

I'm sorry if I'm venting too much but I had to let it out

Steve
08-20-2008, 03:53 PM
what about all of your friends and family?Are they happy in your pursuit?

This was another great question. You know what is crazy about it all in my experience. It seems to me that the people that keep things simple tend to be the happiest.

I know people who seem to be living the high life and they are miserable because they always want more.

Yet others I know that are very simple in their lives always seem to be smiling and don't seem burdened with being all caught up in the continual race to have the newer and better car. The bigger house, etc etc.

quickcleanlawn
08-21-2008, 12:57 PM
This was another great question. You know what is crazy about it all in my experience. It seems to me that the people that keep things simple tend to be the happiest.

I know people who seem to be living the high life and they are miserable because they always want more.

Yet others I know that are very simple in their lives always seem to be smiling and don't seem burdened with being all caught up in the continual race to have the newer and better car. The bigger house, etc etc.

your right Steve, it almost seems they buy all that stuff to hide how miserable they realy are, or to offset it some kind of way, but any way I would'nt want to live like that . It always looks nice looking in from the outside becouse you never think what did they have to go through to get where they are .for example Al Copland he was remarried like four times.cant help but to wonder what caused all the problems in his marriages.
Another question, When is enough enough, I mean when do you decide to stop growing your business, so that you can spend more time at home.
sure everyone has dreams of being the biggest lco in there world, but when do you say ok , I'm tired my family is tired, and its time to enjoy life , not nesesarly talking about retirement but......

Steve
08-22-2008, 04:54 AM
That is a very good question. It might just come down to a personal balance. What you feel is right for you and I think you can feel it.

It is quote fascinating though how it is such a slippery slope. Greed, vanity etc. You get a little and you want more.

All Aspects Landscaping
08-22-2008, 11:14 PM
This is a very interesting subject... one that i have in fact been facing recently.... and I didnt even really see it. Im a very social guy. I know many people in our area. I get caught up in the mix and before you know it, I was missing the final inning of the tball game, or while I was in the pool, I had my phone next to it and as soon as it rang, I had to jump out to answer it, leaving my wife and kids to fend for themselves. But I didnt really know this. So I decided to take a chance and take a class on "transforming my life". I know, It sounds a little crazy, but Im an outside of the box thinking kinda guy. So I go and check out an "introduction". Interesting. Kinda got me thinking about some of the possibilities that could come out of it. In an hour and a half, they made me realize that I was in fact missing out on my kids growing up because I had a need to be self important... huh?!? So with this alternative way of thinking, I needed to know more. So I signed up for the "forum" 3 days, 13 hours each day, then on the 5th day, another 3 hour class. Hmmm... thats a big commitment. But yes, I was curious, and said that I spent $500.00 on worse things. So August 1st, at 9am, I found myself in a large room surrounded by over 120 other people, (who seemed to be just as anxious and excited as myself) Class was broken down into three hour sessions. It was AMAZING!!! This will change your life. now that is a bold statement right?? I thought the same thing when my buddy told me that. Let me say it again. This will change your life! 42 hours of classroom. I cannot even touch that on a post on this forum, but I would recommend this to every single one of you. It is amazing. It will help with you with all of these things that blaine has brought up. From business to personal relationships, it will help. Best part is, I went in there with a minimal amount of "issues". So many awesome stories shared with these 120 people. Anyhow, another tangent, but If this interest you at all, go on their website http://www.landmarkeducation.com/ - Ive heard alot of rumors before going there... its a cult, its scientology, its this its that... Trust me, its none of that, its an alternative way of thinking to make a positive change in your life. Its like me handing you the mower, trimmer, edger, blower, mix gas, regular gas, truck and trailer for YOUR life. It was and is amazing how you can make such a difference in your life if you just take a different approach.
Investigate it, check it out, whatever. If you have any questions you can email me directly at allaspects@mac.com. I will do my best to answer any questions you may have... Find a way to free up the $500.00, you will thank me. And you will start living and loving life. I guarentee it!! Another BOLD statement!!

Steve
08-23-2008, 10:28 PM
What do you think you took from that seminar? What do you feel you are doing differently now because of it?

All Aspects Landscaping
08-24-2008, 12:32 AM
I took away the power to create anything I want in my life... Everything is "enhanced" Its a very hard thing to translate into words. The greatest part of the forum is that what you get out of this is nothing... cause from nothingness lies everything... deep stuff huh?? anyways... not to get too deep on everyone, It was just an amazing seminar that will open up everyones eyes to a new way of thinking... i urge all of you to look into it... they do a free introduction. Its worth the time.

Yard Elements
02-27-2010, 10:14 PM
Reminds me of Tony Robbins (the website)

picframer
02-28-2010, 05:44 AM
To me it's Balance, time for the family, company, my dog and me. It is impossible to make everyone happy all the time however if I can make people happy some or most of the time including time with my dog and time for me then I have found the balance, it's not easy and there will be time when one will win out over the other.

If I reflect over the past year and I can not think of happy moments in all of these areas, I have to make some changes, if for example every tree chipping job we did brought on nothing but headaches, then what are we doing wrong, if I think of my kids and say there hasn't been one happy moment in the past year, then I have to make a change.

CHEESE2009
02-28-2010, 05:53 AM
Maybe because I'm still young.

They always ask me if i'm returning to school (this september). I'm like no freakin' way. I am done and done.... some even think I am still in high school for god sakes.


I'm sorry if I'm venting too much but I had to let it out


1. That does aggravate me when customers ask if I go to school, I'm done & I'm done is my answer as well! Though usually if you tell them a little bit about your purpose they kinda take you more seriously. I keep a beard sometimes, it's lawn service man. :p

2. No one vents as much as me on this forum, I hold the crown:D. I sometimes hate doing it, but this forum has got to be full of the most sympathetic & understanding bunch of people. Everyone here also likes to laugh.. right... right?:confused:

As soon as I press a button, I'm writing a damn novel. Feels good, though I feel bad for the readers, hahaha!

Rock on, go Canada!:cool:

justin_time
02-28-2010, 11:07 AM
2. No one vents as much as me on this forum, I hold the crown:D. I sometimes hate doing it, but this forum has got to be full of the most sympathetic & understanding bunch of people. Everyone here also likes to laugh.. right... right?:confused:



Pretty soon were going to give/make you your own forum so you can write all your stories

Steve
02-28-2010, 07:20 PM
I sometimes hate doing it, but this forum has got to be full of the most sympathetic & understanding bunch of people. Everyone here also likes to laugh.. right... right

If you are dealing with it, others are too. They just may be to timid to type it but you are helping them.

The Cleaning Doctor
03-07-2010, 04:07 PM
I would recommend that you all read Over The Top by Zig Zigglar. It is a very good read and discusses these very issues. It will change your way of thinking and it is a lot less than the $500 lol.

Steve
03-08-2010, 11:48 AM
What about that book stood out to you?

The Cleaning Doctor
03-12-2010, 12:36 PM
The main thing that stood out was the description of the difference between passion and obsession.

Passion is good

Obsession is bad.

I don't have it in front of me to quote but it really puts things in perspective. Also how he explains that failure is an event not a person.

Steve
03-12-2010, 04:07 PM
Also how he explains that failure is an event not a person.

That sounds to be very important!

By seeing it like that, you don't internalize it and begin to feel like you are a failure.

If it is an event, you can write it off and move forwards with no negative mental downside.