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CHEESE2009
12-01-2011, 01:45 AM
Every now and then I'll have my moments. I had decided to write down exactly what I feel about the changes in my life, once becoming a business owner. Maybe some of you can relate?

My life is too fast for my own good, and it has become very difficult to 'keep it together'. With every step of progress, another part of me is sacrificed. I've got a lot of problems, but way too many theories on how to solve them, and I hate to gamble. It seems as though being somebody to rely on will ultimately take 'you' away from yourself, along with the passion that you once had. The path I have created has been detrimental to some extent, but it allows me to do what I'm best at. Hope may be for fools, but it's all I've really got helping me put this puzzle of mine together. I'm grateful.



Feel free to share your own thoughts!

Steve
12-01-2011, 09:15 AM
My life is too fast for my own good, and it has become very difficult to 'keep it together'.

Scott,

Great post. How do you feel this is related to you starting your business or is it just something you have been experiencing since you got your business started and not necessarily related to starting your business?

Ducke
12-01-2011, 10:47 AM
Scott
I hear you. Life is way to short to waste banging your head against a wall.
I find my thoughts are bouncing around in my head and I have a hard time getting them in order my mind races with thoughts of nothing and this to me is so confusing.
I find having my own business has helped keep my thoughts straight keep my mind on one thing, But it the down time that gets me I feel as if I loose control of my life as things begin to spin out of control or seem to my life is constantly on the move I can't sit still or be in a quite room. I have been home sick all week and am about to go out of my mind, I am wondering around the house starting things but not finishing anything. I am easily distracted and I'm off to something new. I also use substance abuse to try and calm things I know I do it I know why and when I do it but I still do it and I can always find a good reason to do it.
For most people life is a road to a destination for me its a journey with many forks in the road. No wrong paths to take just some that are better then others some that go nowhere and some that go to where you want to be.
I talk a lot but say nothing people don't understand me and for that I do not have lots of friends I tend to open my mouth without thinking and offend people.
I just reread what I wrote above and its seems just like a stupid rambling, But that is what is going on in my head rambling.
Scott don't ever think your alone we are many we are the lonely.

FaccLndscpng
12-01-2011, 08:46 PM
This is the truth! It is tough running a business especially with this economy, most of the time there is nothing you can do but bend over and take it…time is your enemy. There are A LOT of things you want to do, expansions you want to make, money you want to invest that you just don’t have, investments that would make your job and life a lot easier and you just have to sit there and wait for things to happen. But the type of person that you are doesn’t allow you to just sit and wait. IT SUCKS. And the thing sucks the most (well it was for me at least) was if you finally told someone that you were in a tough position the response that you get “just keep trying, it will work out eventually” well when? And how do you know? And yea its easy for you to say that I’m the one that has to sit here and take it and its my credit, reputation, business… that’s on the line. And dealing with people really beats you down also, there is a lot of things that you have to “eat” just so you don’t loose a customer and that makes you feel like nothing. It sucks and we all feel you. I could go on for days but I wouldn’t want to bore everyone so just wanted to let you guys know that been there felt that. Hang in there. “What ever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”

FaccLndscpng
12-01-2011, 08:54 PM
I also cant “just sit there” and this really sucks when I get home and my daughter wants me to play or watch a movie or spend time with her and I cant. I have bills or scheduling or am soo tired that I just fall asleep and this really hurts me the most that I can’t be there for her 100%. We have it pounded into our minds that we need to put customers first and we need to work so we can support our families but sometimes all they really want is you. I’m working on it because life is too short I lost two cousins one like 12 yrs old and another 18 yrs old if that doesn’t remind me that life is short I don’t know what will.

CHEESE2009
12-02-2011, 06:52 AM
Scott,

Great post. How do you feel this is related to you starting your business or is it just something you have been experiencing since you got your business started and not necessarily related to starting your business?

I believe that everyone will experience anxiety during change at least once in their lifetime. I am unsure how those older than me manage, but I seem to be lost and unable to accept the future. The world is so fast, it's hard to remember the better moments of my life, and I want to remember everything.

Before I started my business, I guess you can say I was more 'care free', but that would be lie. I needed to start my own business, or I would have nothing, and I would be nobody.

Running a business is a lifestyle, just like being healthy and in shape. Both require you to punish yourself to get anywhere, sometimes on psychological levels. Sometimes I feel as though I am held prisoner, and being tortured. What I mean is, life is a game, every interaction with a person is a part of the game. It can be exhausting. Everyone has an expectation, and everything you say is being evaluated and will determine the end result. I could be the best businessman ever, but I refuse to sell my personality that easily, it would scare me. I am more comfortable being hated by many and liked by few, then to be liked by everyone for being someone I'm not. I'm not a robot, I'm a human who just wants what I deserve. A lot of people forget that, in the end, we all just want what we require and to live in peace. Customers want what they require and more, they disturb the peace.


If my writing doesn't make sense, it's because I have a habit of writing the way I talk and think. It's a conversation with myself that I understand.

**********-

I have some more quotes I had created, and I'm sure you can ALL relate;

A lot in life has been over-simplified, to the point that we have become unable to adapt backwards in order to tackle our most difficult challenges.

- Scott T H-F

People are so easily influenced. How so? In every way imaginable. You have all outnumbered us logical beings, and now we must suffer and tolerate the fact.

- Scott T H-F

People are ignorant towards the reaction of an action. Just because you are invulnerable, does not mean that we are too.

- Scott T H-F

Steve
12-02-2011, 06:25 PM
Sometimes I feel as though I am held prisoner, and being tortured.

The thing I wonder is, who is creating all this? Who is in charge of this?

Are you creating the rules you live with? If you don't like them, can you change the rules? Or do you feel they are forced upon you by others? By the customers?

barefoot352
12-08-2011, 07:05 AM
"I am more comfortable being hated by many and liked by few, then to be liked by everyone for being someone I'm not."

This is true...I have come to realize there are more important things in life, particularly being at every one of my son's baseball games, being with my daughter while she rides her horses, and just being "available" for my wife and kids.

Right now I am trying to transition from working a job that exhausts me, is not fun anymore and sucks the blood out of every pore in my body. My lifelong goal of being an entrepreneur and having my own business is important to me. A friend of mine just retired in May...Thanksgiving week he had a major heart attack and had quadruple bypass surgery. I'm sure it was the stress that our line of work creates which was the last straw for me to put my business plan together and forge a new road for myself and my family. I am giving up a lot, but I can make the same or more money doing this business and as long as I am smart with my money I will be fine later on in life. I know this business will be stressful too...but a different kind of stress that is more manageable and the freedom to make my own choices is something I long for.

Regards...

CHEESE2009
12-08-2011, 07:24 AM
The thing I wonder is, who is creating all this? Who is in charge of this?

Are you creating the rules you live with? If you don't like them, can you change the rules? Or do you feel they are forced upon you by others? By the customers?


A lot of the time, I feel that what I need to do for myself can upset others.

I feel as though I am in a never ending debate with myself and the opinion of others. Everyone thinks they know better, yet they have no idea what the reality of my situation is. The problem is that all of these people outnumber me, so I feel trapped and less sure of my decisions.

For example; People tell me it's not a big deal for clients to miss making their payments on time, that it could be collected later on. As if the client wont put up an argument with me, and he/she will be honest. Ha!

Yet, I'm the one who has to deal with the reality of it. I have a lack of 'understanding' support I suppose.

The people want the impossible, and I can't give that. I don't know who to trust.

If I do what 'they' say, I screw myself over and everyone loses. If I do what I want, everyone thinks of me as a monster.

Steve
12-10-2011, 01:52 PM
Yet, I'm the one who has to deal with the reality of it. I have a lack of 'understanding' support I suppose.

I am sure everyone on here would support you.

A lot of the time, I feel that what I need to do for myself can upset others.

With your example, the problem with not getting the payment issue resolved is that it could potentially put you out of business. So are there some things that you can make into company policy that would have to be followed or you would look for another customer?

Are there other issues that you feel that pop up and are like this too?

CHEESE2009
12-11-2011, 08:24 AM
I am sure everyone on here would support you.



With your example, the problem with not getting the payment issue resolved is that it could potentially put you out of business. So are there some things that you can make into company policy that would have to be followed or you would look for another customer?

Are there other issues that you feel that pop up and are like this too?


It's very strange, because it's almost as if the people down here act like policy doesn't matter when it's beneficial to them, and they try to manipulate me. Like a Jedi in Star Wars...

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bJiqrVWLfdw?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Actually, they just call me out for being a nice guy, "You're a nice guy, you don't need to charge me right now" as if I would be a bad guy if I did... lol

It's not that I'm unaware, it's just not easy to continuously debate someone with no reasoning. Usually if I argue with an idiot who wont listen, I just smack him out to get it over and done with. Unfortunately, these are clients.

Steve
12-12-2011, 10:09 AM
Actually, they just call me out for being a nice guy, "You're a nice guy, you don't need to charge me right now" as if I would be a bad guy if I did.

What % of your customer base do you feel is comfortable in doing this?

CHEESE2009
12-12-2011, 02:01 PM
What % of your customer base do you feel is comfortable in doing this?

51.21951219512195%

It spreads like a virus.

Steve
12-13-2011, 03:08 PM
As you look into your dealings with others, do you ever find yourself in a situation where you are like this with another business owner?

What I mean is, you might not feel you can get away with this with say mcdonalds, but can you get away with it somewhere else? When you do feel like you can, do you feel more compelled to try and get away with it?

Is there something that can be learned from this?

Is this a customer issue, a business owner issue, or a combination of the two?

Ultimately which leads to the question of how to fix this?

CHEESE2009
12-13-2011, 05:36 PM
As you look into your dealings with others, do you ever find yourself in a situation where you are like this with another business owner?

Is there something that can be learned from this?

Is this a customer issue, a business owner issue, or a combination of the two?

Ultimately which leads to the question of how to fix this?


I usually never even consider the option of getting a deal. I never try to negotiate price when it comes to someone else's business. I'll use coupons, but to haggle is not in my nature.

A lot of people in my area LOVE to haggle price, I don't think they understand the importance of their payment, and how it's put to use. Or they just really don't care. It's very tough for me to come off as 'nice' while denying my clients a better price, and it's seemingly impossible to avoid 'debating' whether or not I should do something without being paid.

I believe that I am not 100% perfect when it comes to enforcing policy, it's quite a challenge for me. It also doesn't help that my clients have a rural attitude, meaning they see everyone by name rather than the company they work for. Taking all interactions personal, and making them overwhelmingly complicated, my clients need to accept that I am a company and not just a guy who wants to make a few bucks.

I guess the goal would be to start sending out actual invoices, but even this will not solve the issue of late payments. People don't take our field seriously.

"So I missed a payment, Scott knows I'm good for it" - typical customer.

They gather up this false impression of me, and use it against me.

This leads to irritating phone calls about my poor customer service, clients lawns are not done because they actually hadn't paid. Apparently to them, I should be able to understand that they decide when to pay... yeah right.

It seems as though I am in a very unique situation. It's kind of like arguing with a wall. You're right, but the wall will always ignore you. :(


Customers don't listen/ follow the rules. When they get punished, they will never understand why which makes YOU the bad guy in their eyes.

Steve
12-14-2011, 12:05 PM
As you have grown up and know people in your area, do you find certain business owners there have a way of dealing with all this that you would like to adopt?

Or do you find that most all of them are in the same boat as you when it comes to customer interactions and dealing with these issues?

CHEESE2009
12-14-2011, 01:09 PM
As you have grown up and know people in your area, do you find certain business owners there have a way of dealing with all this that you would like to adopt?

Or do you find that most all of them are in the same boat as you when it comes to customer interactions and dealing with these issues?


I was surprised that I wasn't the only one with this problem. One company hired a receptionist just to get away from the headaches. Lucky guy.

Some usually just do as the customer requests, but then complain that they are out a lot of money and screwing themselves over.

My situation is, I don't have a receptionist and I don't want to allow my clients to indulge in my own pocket money.

The faster a business owner can get away from his clients, the better. Too much unneeded stress for literally nothing. Sounds odd, but that's the only way I can see things working out. I can't argue/debate with people daily it's exhausting.

Ground Troops, LLC
12-14-2011, 10:00 PM
Unfortunately, sounds like you need to start getting your clients to sign contracts. Offer them a prepay discount for paying their monthly bill prior to services being rendered. Also, have you ever thought about accepting credit cards? They take a percentage, but you have your money in about 4 days.

As far as your personal thoughts or struggles... seriously, try meditation.

I have walked a mile in your shoes. Been that guy. Too friendly with customers, and doing extras here and there for no charge. The best thing I ever learned in business is how to say NO.

Life is short brother. Clear up your mind. Find what makes you happy. And do it. At the end of the day, you have to answer to yourself.

CHEESE2009
12-14-2011, 11:05 PM
You're advice is pretty accurate. It's all it really comes down to.

I think it's my personal life that needs adjustment, as it effects my business.
I believe that I am too alone, and when clients gang up on me I actually feel wrong. A friend usually helps me feel 'correct' and gives me the realism/push that reminds me that I am actually right for saying, "no".

I surround myself with the needs of my customers, which make me very confused, as I know they can be detrimental to my company. Rarely do I get an outsiders view, a friend / non-client.

Wow, pretty deep stuff!

Basically, the only people I surround myself with are the people who take from me. Horrible! That'll have any individual make bad decisions, and it's clearly what I've done. Having a person tell you that the clients are wrong is a good thing, as they look out for you and nothing less!



In other news, some random woman is obsessing over me, scary stuff. Well, better take advantage of the situation for my own personal gain :cool:. LOL, just like a client... Hypocrisy makes me laugh.

http://image.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/483673/483673,1282657473,10/stock-vector-cool-guy-cartoon-59666257.jpg

Ground Troops, LLC
12-15-2011, 06:37 AM
Just gotta put everything into perspective bro. You make the rules.

As for the girl... post pics....lol

Steve
12-16-2011, 06:46 PM
A friend usually helps me feel 'correct' and gives me the realism/push that reminds me that I am actually right for saying, "no".

Scott,

How much of this can you attribute to confidence that you build over time. As you are in business longer, you get more comfortable on how to handle situations and they come second nature.

Or do you feel this is more of a personality issue where you want to be liked by all your customers and they pick up on that and take advantage of it?

CHEESE2009
12-16-2011, 07:11 PM
Scott,

How much of this can you attribute to confidence that you build over time. As you are in business longer, you get more comfortable on how to handle situations and they come second nature.

Or do you feel this is more of a personality issue where you want to be liked by all your customers and they pick up on that and take advantage of it?

It's more of a lesson that needs to be learned through trial and error. No one would know 'stealing' is wrong, if they were never raised/shown to believe in that it was.

I rarely have people who aren't my clients to tell me what is the right thing to do. The right thing for my clients is (to me) the wrong thing for the business.

My confidence in making the right decision can be somewhat confusing when the only suggestions I receive are from my clients, and while I'm the only person who is against them it becomes difficult to debate and truly feel 'right'.

Think of something you hate, that everyone else loves. It's kind of useless to fight the fact that you feel different about 'it'.

Ground Troops, LLC
12-16-2011, 09:15 PM
You kinda got to get over the feeling right and wrong about it. Its your business, you make the rules... You also seem to be really hard on yourself!!
As Joe Dirt says, Lifes a garden, dig it... Start enjoying life brotha!!!

Steve
12-17-2011, 01:35 PM
My confidence in making the right decision can be somewhat confusing when the only suggestions I receive are from my clients

Why can't you also get suggestions from fellow business members on the forum? They would at least be neutral and not looking to get free services from you.